Top 11 Prescriptions For Marketing Duress

The past few years have felt like limbo to many in the healthcare and related industries. With legislation and industry practices up in the air, and with widely anticipated budget free falls, it’s been a difficult time to be a marketer. And specialized ad agencies, unfortunately, have provided little relief for the conditions that can plague your every day. So here’s our Top 11 Prescriptions for Marketing Duress:

  1. Celebrex®. Helps treat stiffness in joints from marking up uninspiring creative copy.†
  2. Vicodin®. Dulls the ache associated with slamming your head against your desk after making repeated requests to see something new and not getting it.†
  3. Cialis®. Restores your confidence in hard-sell tactics.†
  4. Prozac®. Makes you feel better about paying the same rising agency costs every year for the same creative work.†
  5. Ritalin®. Improves attention to excessive agency surcharges.†
  6. Lipitor®. Reduces waxy buildup of bureaucracy that can lead to dangerous blocks in the healthy flow of communication.†
  7. Nexium®. Quells the stomach-churning, deep-seeded pangs of fiery hatred you have for your agency’s answering machine.†
  8. Plavix®. Thins bombastic and hyperbolic creative rationales, exposing recycled and all-too-familiar strategies that have proved off-base time and time before.†
  9. Advair®. Eases breathing in cases relating to stuffy, outdated, and polluted agency politics.†
  10. Abilify®. Reduces feelings of overwhelming helplessness and despair brought on by slashed budgets.†
  11. Caffeine. Stimulates brain function and increases awareness of poor agency performance.

† Celebrex® and Lipitor® are registered trademarks of Pfizer Inc. Vicodin® is a registered trademark of Abbott Laboratories. Cialis® and Prozac® are registered trademarks of Eli Lilly & Company. Ritalin® is a registered trademark of Novartis Pharmaceuticals Corporation. Nexium® is a registered trademark of AstraZeneca International. Plavix® and Abilify® are registered trademarks of Bristol-Myers Squibb Company. Advair® is a registered trademark of GlaxoSmithKline PLC.


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