1. LinkedOut: Anti-social behavior ironically caused by an addiction to social media
  2. Snopes Fodder: “News” created by citizen journalists (i.e. bloggers) who liberally mix fact with opinion, enthusiastically spread by armchair editors who can’t tell the difference
  3. Textonitis: Carpal Tunnel from years of hyperactively thumbing at handheld devices
  4. EmBareAssment: Accidentally sexting everyone in your address book
  5. ShitFacedbooking: Spamming news feeds with the greasy details of a late-night burrito run
  6. Social Media Anxiety Disorder: Family of irrational fears that includes being defriended, incorrectly using a hot new acronym in public, and being the last one to find out a B-list celebrity died
  7. Oversimulation: Nervous breakdown caused by crop failure in FarmVille
  8. Cyberstalking: Living out fantasy relationships with people who would sleep a lot easier knowing you were behind bars
  9. Comment Suction: Wetting of the pants caused by an inability to tear yourself away from your computer due to a particularly interesting comment string
  10. Expertoxicity: Falsely identifying yourself as an expert on a topic after reading most of an article you found online



Don’t get us wrong. We appreciate a well-groomed virtual mullet as much as the next person, just as we appreciate the REAL benefits of digital and social media – especially when it comes to marketing your business.

But we also know it’s not always easy knowing where to dive in. You can’t afford to chase every trend and technology out there, especially at the rate things are changing these days. But you can’t exactly ignore them, either. The fact is, technology is enabling some pretty innovative and cost-efficient ways to meet your marketing objectives, if you know what you’re doing.

Get real with a Plan B.

We believe future marketing successes won’t be achieved by aggressively pushing our messages at customers, but by pulling them in. It’s no longer about ‘share of voice’ (reaching the most people), but about how to attract people who believe in a brand, and believe in what it does, even if attracting those customers calls for LESS marketing. Because at the end of the day, it is all about business results you can actually see – including, and especially, the ones that exist virtually.


  1. BlogCrapping: Going to every blog you can find an posting in the comments a link for your own, far cooler and completely irrelevant, blog.

  2. LOL: A cancer that causes one to abbreviate all actions. Usually caused by years of lazy SMS messaging and increased exposure to radiation from personal computers and cellphone usage.

  3. People who commit #7 should have their facebook and twitter accounts revoked. Status updates that provide details of someone’s daily meals or how many times their kids threw up is of zero use to anyone. Those people get an F in social media!

  4. Adding to #5: FarmVille players outnumber actual farmers in the United States by more than 60 to 1.
    This seems backwards. Too bad the game doesn’t tie into helping real world problem

  5. I agree with Katie!

    Like Betty White said in her SNL monologue, Facebook is such a waste of time…to make it worse, they litter it with games like Farmville.

    Christ, try calling your mom or that friend you haven’t seen since highschool.

    Oh and don’t get me started on how they own all of your content!

  6. Digging the Sticky Fingers tribute photo. Curious if there’s a name for the style of video in that ‘Red Tape’ spot.

  7. Over abbreving: Excessive use of abbreviated words and phrases in everyday conversation due to too many hours spent chatting online. Ex: “OMG, the peeps at yog class this AM were strechin’ like woah.”

  8. CyberCeleb-u-Stalking: Checking celebrity gossip blogs more often than emails… Knowing more about the Kardashians than your clients.

  9. I don’t have the time (or the mind) to come up with something clever, but I vote for Fauxships. That’s so true!!!

  10. Qwitter: One who repeatedly proclaims to ‘take a break’ from twitter or facebook, then comes back just hours later with a barrage of tweets or status updates.

  11. Text-to-Speech Malfunction: When a person moves from texting or typing acronyms (OMG, LMAO) to replacing words in their actual oral vocabulary with them. Ex. “O-M-G, Becky look at her butt. L-O-L! It is so big! I mean, W-T-H?” said Veronica.

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