11. Rush charges for creative that was two days late.
10. Motivational lecture on “creativity” by that MTV Jackass guy.
9. Agency barista’s holiday bonus.
8. Senior VP’s rehab stint in Greece.
7. Advanced aeration kit to maintain the winding 10,000 gallon Koi pond in the lobby.
6. Legal retainer to mitigate the Executive CD’s messy relationships with “talent”.
5. Bail fund (frequently tapped after Turkish-themed “bring-your-own hookah” parties).
4. Insurance rider covering mechanical bull accidents.
3. Feature-length agency credentials film with original score by Hans Zimmer.
2. Replica of the Delorean from Back to the Future that doubles as a photo booth.

#1

WEEKLY MEETINGS TO DETERMINE WHO WILL BE AVAILABLE FOR FUTURE MEETINGS.

Call us old fashioned, but we think your marketing budget would be better spent on things like, well, MARKETING your business. Yet when you look at how some of these big agency folks are living it up in their downtown digs, you have to wonder.

We don’t wonder. We came up in that world. And we’ve seen creative budgets burn up in some pretty creative ways. Think this top eleven list is an exercise in hyperbole? Think again.

That’s actually been a big reason for our success. We never adhered to the industry-standard “less-for-more” model. Sure, it’s a wild and outlandish concept to give clients what they pay for, but it’s an approach that’s served Plan B (and our clients) quite well for over ten years.

It’s funny, but when you take away the wasteful retainers, the smoke and mirrors of middle management, and all those miscellaneous “mystery” expenses, all you’re left with is great thinking at a significantly lower cost.

So we’ll continue leaving the exotic accoutrements to those money-farming desert barons in Dubai. That way, all our clients will ever have to pay for is top-tier talent with a bottom-line focus. As for the agency DJ, well, we do have one of those. Her name is Pandora and she doesn’t drive.